With less than 9 weeks to go (or so) before B2 arrives, we have quite a few things to take care of. The nursery (guess we should break down and buy that crib, eh?). Getting the bottles all out and washed. Wash baby clothes. New pacis. Some baby boy stuff. Maybe a double stroller. Lots of little things to get and do.
But there was one BIG item on the list that we needed to do.
Like, life changing big.
And I’ll admit, this one has me shaking in my boots a
It’s a BIG decision.
Here it is:
To go back to work or to stay home.
Brooke has been in daycare since she was 3 months old. Which seems like forever ago but isn’t really. And I LOVE how great she has done in daycare. She has learned SO much (more than I know I would have been able to teach her). Her teachers have all been amazing and love her so much, which makes me the happiest mama on the block.
But when it comes down to it. Daycare is EXPENSIVE. Like, pretty much need a second job to make paying for two kiddos in daycare worthwhile.
Sure, we could probably look around and find an in-home day care that is less expensive that we could make work, but ultimately, if we’re using daycare, I like the regimen that a center provides, plus most in-homes only take kids up to 2 or 2 and a half, and we’re nearly there with Brooke. I’d hate to pull her out of her daycare, put her into a new one (we’ve already had to do that within the past year), and then try to finagle her back into a center, etc. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.
So the decision has been made.
After B2’s arrival, I will be staying at home full time with the kiddos.
With a toddler and an infant.
We’ll keep Brooke in daycare for the first couple of weeks that B2 is home so that he and I can try to establish some kind of routine, and then after that, we haven’t quite decided if she will come out all together or if we’ll keep her in for a half day or so during the week (still expensive, just not quite as much).
In my heart, I know it will all be fine. There will definitely be an adjustment period for all of us, but it will be fine. My head sees the glass as half empty. I’m expecting the worst, so that hopefully if it is ‘the worst’, at least I’m ready for it. If it’s any better than what I envision, then we’re doing good!
I don’t think it’s the staying at home part that scares me. It’s that I’ve never stayed at home with Brooke before (aside from weekends, and even then Robert and I tag team), much less Brooke and an infant.
I hope that in about 6 months, I’ll look back on this post and laugh at myself for being so worried/scared/nervous/anxious.
Until then, I’ll just keep on being nervous about it and googling ‘how to stay sane as a stay at home mom’ or ‘toddler activities to keep them busy for hours and hours’ or ‘how to make my toddler sleep later than 6am’
Oh boy. Here we go!