*this post was written over the span of about 3 weeks…so if it is a little choppy…that’s why.
Part of me can’t believe it’s only been a month since Brooke joined us, but part of me totally can. It feels like she’s always been here and its hard to remember life without her (which I kind of think God does on purpose because if you could remember life without them, you’d probably get really sad about all the sleep you’re missing out on…).
After a month of trying and trying, tons of tears, some anger, a lot of sadness, lots of feeling like a failure (I’ll get to this in a moment), we have resorted to pumping and bottle feeding. I’m hopeful that she grows out of the mean latch, but if we have to stick to the bottle, that’s what we have to do. Aside from being sad that I can’t nurse Brooke like nature intended, it also makes me very sad that there is a negative connotation for not being able to nurse, regardless of the circumstances. Society in general gives off the vibe that breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful, should come naturally, and should be easy. This was not the case with me, and after 3 visits to the lactation consultant and 1 visit to my OB, it is just better for me, for Brooke (who is seemingly much happier now), and my sanity. And Robert can help too. It’s what works now, so I say screw whatever society says, I’m doing what’s best for us.
Although I’ve mentioned the lack of sleep, I have to say we have been very lucky that our girl knows her days from her nights. She’ll eat about every 2-3 hours during the day, but at night will go as long as 6 or 7 hours (on average it’s about 5). Our typical night starts at 11pm when we feed her and put her down for bed. She’ll wake us around 4am to eat, go back to sleep, and wake up again for the day around 7am. We are very, very lucky. We have had a few nights where she is up every 3 hours, but I believe those are growth-spurt nights.
The pets seem to be doing good with Brooke! I think Stout has had a bit of postpartum depression 🙂 but seriously, he has been a bit down lately, so we are making sure he gets attention and still goes to daycare twice a week. He’s gotten better in the past couple of weeks. The cats really could care less. They will come up and sniff her, sometimes even head-butt her, but they aren’t phased by her crying or anything.
All-in-all, we really are doing great. We have had hit a few speed bumps along the way but we’ve worked them out and are learning along the way. Being a parent is by far one of the most exciting, fun, difficult, scary, nerve-racking, amazing thing I’ve ever done, and we are only a month in. I can’t wait to see what comes next!