Yes, pregnancy is a miracle. I’m growing another human. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m blessed. I am lucky. I shouldn’t complain. I know. But …
What I miss about not being pregnant:
Being able to put my shoes and socks on. I always thought this one was silly. Like, who can’t put on their own shoes, really? Yeah. Really. I have to hold my breath, hoist a leg up on the other knee, put the sock on, put the foot down and lay back a bit to catch my breath, hoist again to put on the shoe and hold breath a little longer to tie said shoe, drop the foot, catch my breath, and repeat on the other foot. It is ridiculous. This is also the same for putting on pants without sitting down. One leg in. Pause. Bend down as far as possible. Balance. Second leg in…miss. Second leg in…missed a couple toes but can jab them the rest of the way in there. Re-balance. Breathe. Stand up slowly, otherwise I’ll get a cramp/contraction/Braxton Hicks…
Sitting Indian style, or with one leg tucked, comfortably. I used to do this all the time at work. Sit with a leg tucked or even Indian style in my chair. One leg is questionable at this moment, and even if I can get it to work, it falls asleep in about 5 minutes. My go-to position now is laid back (my work chair reclines) with my feet up on a plastic container. It’s a sight, I’m sure.
Shaving. That’s not to say I can’t shave, but if you read the blurb about me putting on my shoes and pants, then imagine the gusto it takes to shave my legs (much less anything else…sorry if thats TMI but whatever, we’re all friends, right?). If shaving is all I’ll be expected to do in a day, then I’ll consider it.
Being able to walk quickly and comfortably. I’m not a fast runner, or really a fast walker, but I do remember the days when I could walk 2 miles in about 30 minutes. These days it takes about 40, or maybe longer depending on how many times I have to stop for a Braxton Hicks contraction or regular contraction. And if I try to pick up the pace now, I pay for it dearly.
A good, sweaty workout. I never thought I’d miss working out, but there is something about the endorphin’s that kick in after a nice body pump class, a 3 mile run on a perfect-weather day, or even a powerful stint on the elliptical. Those workouts that make you drip sweat and have your heart pounding? I miss those. I have to worry about my heart and someone else’s heart, so those aren’t an option at this point. I might reconsider this statement sometime in July when I am clear to exercise again, but right now, I miss it. And no, I don’t consider putting my shoes and socks on a workout (even though it sounds like it could be).
Being able to get myself out of the couch/car/bed without counting to 3. Getting up is a chore. Rolling over in bed is a pain in the ass. I have to get Robert’s help now to get up off the couch. And if for some ungodly reason I’m on the floor (like I was yesterday), I imagine I looked like a turtle stuck on its back. Not to mention having to literally catch my breath after doing any of those things listed. There really isn’t anything like breaking a sweat just trying to stand up.
Clothes fitting correctly. Yeah I have maternity clothes and yeah they work alright, but nothing feelslike it fits right anymore. Panels are too high or too low, nothing stays put, things feel too tight, my pajamas are getting uncomfortable (how sad is that?!). I just want a pair of pajama pants that sit below my gigantic belly that don’t cut off the circulation to my legs, is that too much to ask!?
Sitting in a booth at a restaurant. We went to a restaurant in Roanoke this weekend and the hostess asked “booth or table?” and I laughed and said “table” because squeezing my ass into a booth is for the birds. Not gonna happen. I can’t hardly get close enough to my dinner plate without my belly hitting the table, I can pretty much guarantee it’ll hit or not fit in a booth (unless its one of those restaurants where the booths are ginormous and the tables are little so everyone feels like they need go-go-gadget arms to eat…those places might work).
Feeling sympathetic when someone complains about anything. If you want to look at me now and tell me how your back hurts or your feet hurt or whatever, please, I’m not trying to be rude, but I really cannot have any sympathy for you at this point. Every minute of every day, I have a tiny human inside of me kicking my ribs, punching my uterus, and rolling around ever so forcefully, while at the same time I’m carrying this little person all out in front, creating severe back pain, neck pain, headaches…should I keep going?? So, I mean, I guess I’m kind of sorry your back hurts, but no, I’m not really. (this excludes other pregnant women…we can complain to each other without fear and with sympathy…its just what we do)
Organizing and cleaning the house without a break every 15 minutes. I spent a good 4 hours in the nursery yesterday organizing Lady B’s stuff (and good LORD does she have a lot of stuff!) and maybe about 2.5 of those hours was actually organizing. A lot of my time was spent on the floor, so there were ample breaks to lean back and catch my breath (like I said before, slouching and Indian style are no longer easy to come by). At one point there was so much going on in there (mattress leaning up against boxes and bags on the floor with other boxes and diapers) that I couldn’t turn around without bumping into something and I camethisclosetolosingit.
Going to pee and not having to go pee again 5 minutes later because apparently there was more. This is really annoying. Typically, you feel like you have to pee, so you go pee, and you resume whatever activity you were doing before. Now, I feel like I have to pee (all freaking day long…seriously…it never goes away)…go to the bathroom, pee, sit there, pee a little more, finish, resume whatever activity I was doing before, and 5 minutes later, I have to pee again, like BAD. Ugh. Can’t we just get it done in one go ‘round?
Having the energy to do all the things I need to do. I have a to-do list. It includes things like, vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms, wash dishes, wash and fold clothes, go on a walk, play with the dog, make dinner, clean up after dinner, go to the grocery store, go to target, change the sheets (I could keep going but you get the jist). At one point, I could get all of this done on a productive Sunday. Now, it takes a week (or more) to get all of this done. I just don’t have the energy or stamina to do it all anymore, and that really sucks, especially when you’re kind of a neat-freak (not to be confused with a clean-freak) and at least want to get the cleaning portions done – but it’s just down-right exhausting anymore.
Coughing/sneezing without fear of wet britches (although I hear this may never go away…). I am either battling some SERIOUS allergies at the moment or I have a bit of a cold. This means coughing and sneezing. Coughing is a bit easier to control the force of if I have to. Sneezing, on the other hand, requires full on focus, legs crossed, and maybe a bit of prayer. It’s down right scary.
Not waddling. I waddle. I don’t like it. I can’t help it. It’s not cute. The end.
Being able to pick up something off the floor/bottom shelf. Drop a piece of paper on the floor? Either try to grab it with my toes and hoist it to my hand, find the closest person and have them pick it up, or leave it there until someone else finds it. This also goes for grocery shopping and any goods that are on the bottom shelf…they shall stay on the bottom shelf.
Going to the bathroom without perfect posture. Slouching is no longer an option, no matter where I am. My posture is significantly better at this particular moment (aside from when I’m reclined back, of course) than it has probably ever been.
Sex for fun. Sorry family, but really, how do you think we got here anyway? The old wives tale says that sex could induce labor. So, whatever, I’m game and fine with ulterior motives.
I’m sure there are more, and I’m sure in the next 30 days (holy crap) I’ll find more fun things that I miss about not being pregnant, but this is a good list to get you going 🙂 Oh the joys of pregnancy!